HUMAN BEING - definition

Member of a species best known for its competitive belligerence and murderous envy.

--Timothy Francis Leary

FREUD - definition

The lie detector who lied.

--Timothy Francis Leary

BORN - definition

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

PSYCHOANALYSIS - definition

All that Freud said is that modern man and society are completely dishonest. Society lies to the individual and forces him to lie to himself. Freud calls this process of self-deception the unconscious. The unconscious is the hidden. Freud (the lie detector who lied) conscientiously listed the various ways in which man prevaricates and then developed a system of humiliating cross-examination and spirit-breaking brainwashing which forces the rare "successful" patient to give up his favorite pack of lies (which he chose as being the best solution to an impossible situation) and grovelingly to accept the psychoanalyst's system of dishonesty. Have you ever noticed how unbearably "dead" and juiceless psychoanalysts and their patients are? The only cheerful fact about psychoanalysis is that most patients don't get cured and are stubborn enough to preserve their own amateur and original lie in favor of the psychoanalyst's conforming lie. If anyone has any lingering doubt about the superstitious and barbarian state of psychiatry and psychoanalysis, reflect on this fact. Today, fifty years after Freud, the average mental hospital in the United States is a Kafkaesque, Orwellian prison camp more terrifying than Dachau because the captors claim to be healers. Two hundred years ago our treatment of the village idiot and nutty old Aunt Agatha was gently utopian compared to the intolerant savagery of the best mental hospital.

--Timothy Francis Leary

ADULT - definition

Adults are just kids who owe money.

--unknown

JESUS - definition

A man who has been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change.

--Douglas Adams - Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy

PERFECTION - definition

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application.

--Stanley Randall