GOD

If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.

--Woody Allen

DONE

I tried, you didn't, I'm done.

AXIOLOGY

A good man, a good rope, and a good Christmas tree are transposed when the man is hanged by the rope on the Christmas tree. As a transposition, this is axiologically bad; but it is an axiologically good bad, that is, a good transposition, namely, a good hanging. On the other hand, it a man pulls the Christmas tree behind him on a rope we have a composition of values, of the same elements, and the complex value "man-pulling-Christmas-tree" or "Christmas-tree-puller," the concept of which contains all three connotations in question. The actual person fulfilling this concept is "a good Christmas-tree-puller."

--Robert S. Hartman

WIN

You can not win an argument just by being right.

WOMAN

Years ago, women used to cook like their mother.
Nowadays, they usually drink as their father.

YOURSELF

If you know yourself, then you'll not be harmed by what is said about you.

--(Arab proverb)

ZEBRA QUESTION

I asked the zebra,
Are you black with white stripes?
Or white with black stripes?
And the zebra asked me,
Are you good with bad habits?
Or are you bad with good habits?
Are you noisy with quiet times?
Or are you quiet with noisy times?
Are you happy with some sad days?
Or are you sad with some happy days?
Are you neat with some sloppy ways?
Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?
And on and on he went.
I'll never ask a zebra
About stripes
Again.

X-MAS

Buying shit no one needs,
with money you don't have,
for relatives you don't
really like that much.

GO OUT

I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone.

--Lord Byron

END

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

PSYCHOANALYSIS

The two main hazards of psychoanalysis: that it might fail, and that if it succeeds, you'll never be able to forgive yourself for all those wasted years.

--Mignon McLaughlin

TODAY

You can not change the past, but you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow.

THEY

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win, then they kill you, then they build you statues and worship you their way.

STABLE

There is nothing so stable as change.

REAL

Monsters are real, ghosts are real too. They inside us, and sometimes, they win.

--Stephen King

CHRISTIAN

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They scroll down to the bottom and click "I agree".